Finding motivation to take that d@#% bonnet off

throw back collage

Hey…. since I last posted so much has happened  it feels like a whole year has gone by. Honestly I wasn’t sure if I would even be able to get myself together to write a post this week but here we are.

If you are struggling to process the latest events, the murders that could have been your dad, your brother, your nephew, and your son as a mother of beautiful black boy I want you to know you are not alone. If your heart yearns for justice know that so does mine.

There is just such heaviness and mourning going on along with social distancing and sheltering in place you may need motivation to not get stuck in a slump. I find that sometimes, I don’t have any motivation to take my bonnet or scarf off. I just don’t even want to look at my hair.

Well when I felt like that this time I had to take a good look at why. First of all my hair was so thirsty if it could talk it would have been screaming for some hydration. You put off wash day for what suppose to be just one afternoon and that turns into two or in my case three.

To be honest I have always been a little let’s say reluctant to take off my bonnet or scarf especially when Im home. Don’t believe me check out my old post Im Pro Bonnet life but he may not be. This week  ready or not I was bringing my hair out of the shadows and into the sun. The cure for my lack of motivation to take that bonnet off was a bantu knot set.

Listen sometimes you just need an excuse to show off your hair. Let me tell you because it had been so long since I did da bantu knot set I was out of practice. Few tips that came back to mind while doing it is one position your knots in the direction you want them to go in and if your smart make parts so that if you have to rock out with them for a day (while they dry) you’re not stuck wrapping up your hair.

I also realized that just like any other set braid out, twist out, Flexi rod, or what have you a little bit of oil on your hands before taking them down goes a long way. Last but not least of my very short list is well more of a preference, I like to start off with clumped curls and or curls smoothed by a brush it just makes it easier to wrap your hair around.

I challenge you to a bonnets off challenge take a moment and do something for yourself. It doesn’t have to be hair me and one of my best friends were just talking about this we both were talking about wanting to fit in just a 20 minute bath with a bath bomb or bath salt and just take a minute to decompress. Do me a favor and steal a few moments for yourself especially black people in America and just do some self care what ever that looks like to you.

My dad literally called me to make sure I wasn’t popping off as he calls it. He told me to get some candles, turn on your favorite non violent movie, turn the lights down and fit in some deep breaths. Right now is an incredibly hard time and there is no right way to grieve were hurting angry and in pain do what you can to hold on to yourself.

Thank you to the protestors who are raising their voices against injustice and to the mommas and daddies who are loving on their black boys a little harder right now. If there is a black man reading this I value you I love you and the world would not be the same with out you thank you for existing. God still has a plan for you and your life and you are more then just a target to the black women you too are valued loved and appreciated and your hard work does not go unnoticed. To our true allies thank you for standing with us in peace I see you.

I know that there is a lot going on but in the mist of all of this don’t forget to vote don’t forget to fill out your census. Please please allow yourself to still have moments of joy don’t forget to live. Im preaching to myself because these last few days have been just painful I can’t tell you how many times I have cried. But we can’t die here we still have to get up and we got work to do. For me that’s raising, educating, and protecting  my son.  The  prayer is that if we all every person white black and blue raises their kid to love and value each others lives maybe just maybe the future has a chance. Remember, be happy, be curly, be you and you will never fail!



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